Flowers For a Ghost
by Chemicalsentiments
Summary: Mello reflects on his memories of L. Matt/Mello comfort/fluff depending on how you see it, and L/Mello friendship/comfort. Hope you enjoy I am obligated to tell you that reviews are cake. rated T to be safe.


This was inspired by the song 'Flowers for a Ghost' by Thriving Ivory (hence the title) .

The portion in italics is a flashback, incase anyone is confused...

This is kind my take on Mello and L's relationship.

Uhm..that is all?

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>You disappear with all your good intentions.<p>

And all I am is all I could not mention.

Like who will bring me flowers when it's over.

And who will give me comfort when it's cold.

* * *

><p>Mello knelt to the lightly frosted ground, placing a single rose in front of him, and stared at the grave before him. His eyes were blank and bloodshot, his skin a sickly pale. It was an unusually cold day for the fall. The sky was overcast and the clouds hung ominously in the sky, ready to open up at any moment. Leaves blew around lazy in the brisk morning wind, and all that could be heard was the rustling of the tree branches above.<p>

Mello pulled his rosary over his and held it tightly in-between his hands. He muttered prayer after prayer, hoping to feel something, anything other than the misery he felt in that moment.

"Why did you have to go and leave me like that…" he whispered, looking down at the crucifix in his hand, "why did you do it!" he demanded. He clamped his hand down around the metal cross, blinking his eyes tightly in an attempt to fight back the tears he knew would fall regardless of how hard he tried to prevent it.

"L…" he mumbled, "I was supposed to go first you know…" The blond hung his head in shame. "Everyone knew. I was always second. I think everyone knew I wouldn't be your successor. Sure, I was smart, but I was reckless and impatient. I didn't think things through all the time…I should've died on this case. Not you. You should be here for me now." Tears fell softly down Mello's cheeks, pink from the cold. "You should be bringing _me _flowers, like you did before."

* * *

><p><em>L walked into the room. It was small, with walls painted a pale green. The ceiling lights gave off a yellowy glow as he walked towards the hospital bed where a small, skinny boy laid, his hair fanned out around him in disarray. L perched himself in a chair beside the bed in his usual manner, knees pulled up to his chest. He leaned forward, looking at the blond haired boy intently. <em>

_"Mello," he said softly. The boy blinked, his big blue eyes sparkling when he saw who was there. _

_"L" said the boy, smiling weakly, he tried pushing himself up but was too weak. _

_"I brought this for you." L said, handing the blond a single chocolate rose. "I wasn't sure if I should bring you flowers or chocolate, so I found this and felt it was suitable." The older boy gave Mello an awkward smile and watched him. Mello had been in the hospital for quite some time, with a bad case a pneumonia. _

_"Thanks," the younger boy said, coughing a bit, "I've never had chocolate before though…" L helped him sit up and rubbed his back as the coughing became worse. _

_"Trust me, you'll like it…I promise." L told him. _

_"L," Mello whispered, "are you going to stay with me?" he asked shyly. L patted his back reassuringly._

_"I'm always here for you, Mihael, I always will be." Mello gave him a hug, it took all of his energy to do so, and it was still weak. L returned the gesture and stayed with the fragile little boy until he fell back to sleep._

* * *

><p>"You told me that you'd always be here for me!" Mello shouted, "And you lied! All you are…were…was a liar." He spat out the words as if they were poison. Mello knew, somewhere within himself, that the words he had just spoken were not true, but he wasn't thinking clearly. He pulled his knees close to his body and trembled. He let the tears come freely, and stream down his face.<p>

"You were supposed to be here!" he sobbed, looking at the grave stone angrily, "You said you would be. You said so." His voice quieted and he felt like a little kid again.

He remembered crying in his room, when he had first arrived at Wammy's. L was the first person he had met, and L was the one who sat with him when he cried and told him it would all get better. That was what Mello wanted. L telling his he'd be alright. L was like the big brother Mello never had. When Mello went to L's door, crying, in the middle of the night because he had been scared of the thunder, L had let him crawl in bed beside him. When Mello tried staying up past three in the morning to study, and fell asleep on his books, it was L who covered him with a blanket and helped him to off to bed.

Mello sat and thought about all of these things, it was all he wanted…to have L back with him again. He thought back to when he had talked to L about grades, and how he wanted to be just like him…to be the best. Mello remembered when L had told him that in his eyes, Mello had always been number one. The blond gave a tiny smile at this recollection, but it faded when he was reminded that things were different now.

"I'm sorry," Mello apologized, "I'm so sorry…" His voice was a whisper and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

* * *

><p>Rain had already started to fall when Matt stepped out of the car. He had been waiting for Mello for around an hour now, and was started to get worried. He knew how Mello had felt about L, and had felt uneasy when Mello asked him to drive to the cemetery where L had been buried. He wasn't sure Mello would be able to handle it, but he had agreed anyway. It was hard for him to say no to the blond. As he walked towards the hill where L's grave was, he wondered how he might find Mello. Would he be crying? Would he be angry? The blond was very good at hiding his emotions, sometimes so good that Matt had no idea he was even irritated. Of course, Mello still called him out on not trying to comfort him, but the redhead was okay with that.<p>

He made his way up to where Mello was sitting, pulling his goggles off out of respect for L. He sat down beside his boy friend, and reached out to hold his hand.

"Holy shit Mells, what did you do!" he asked worriedly. Mello looked down at his hand. Blood was trickling down the boy's hand, and out between his fingers, where he had been clutching his rosary. Mello winced as Matt tried to pry open his fingers.

"I didn't even realize…" the blond spoke softly, "I'm sorry Mattie…"

"Don't be." Mello pushed his wet blond hair away from his eyes and look up at Matt through watery blue eyes.

"Mattie…" he hesitated, "Will you stay with me…forever?" he asked. Mello knew how childish that had sounded, but he had let the words out anyway.

"Mello, you know I will…I love you."

"…but L said he'd always be here with me and look," Mello pointed at the grave stone miserably, "he's not."

"He didn't do that though, I wouldn't either. I won't leave you, and you know that." Mello stared at him, for what felt like forever.

"You promise?" Mello asked shyly.

"I pinky promise." Matt told him, earning a crooked smile from the blond. "Let's get you home, okay?"

With a final glance at the grave, Mello stood and turned away. "Okay," he said steadily, "I'm ready to go."

"Alright, I'll clean your hand up in the car." Matt stood, receiving a quick kiss from the blond, and the two headed down the hill, hand in hand.


End file.
